i was reading some interesting topics in Crack.com
and would like to share some of them here.
Self-Destructive Ways People Accidentally Cured Themselves
- Lightning Fixes Everything -
In 1980, 62-year-old Edwin Robinson of Falmouth, Maine had been deaf and blind for nine years as a result of a head injury he received in a collision with a tractor trailer. One day he was wandering around looking for his pet chicken "Took Took" when he suddenly found himself caught outside in a lightning storm, presumably because God felt he hadn't been punished enough.
"Eat that, you sightless bastard."
Rather than return to his house, he began swinging his aluminum cane around to try to find his way to shelter underneath the biggest tree in his backyard, which is the precise decision a person with a severe head injury would make. Meanwhile, we here at Cracked wonder how a blind, deaf man ever expected to find a goddamn chicken, let alone how he managed to determine that it was missing in the first place.
At any rate, Edwin's metal cane and giant tree shelter proved too tempting for the storm and he was inevitably struck by lightning, blowing out his hearing aid, blackening the grass around him and knocking him out for a good 20 minutes. When he regained consciousness he crawled back into the house and went to sleep, because getting hit with the fury of Zeus tends to wear you out.
When Edwin finally woke up, he found that he could see straight ahead (no peripheral vision) and he that could hear perfectly. Not only that, but his hair even grew back after 35 years of baldness. Like any recipient of a bonafide miracle, Edwin hit the talk show circuit, inspiring a generation of bald, deaf, blind people to try and get themselves struck by lightning.
- Suicide Cures Depression -
Meet The Major, a 55-year-old British army veteran and known asshole who, after returning to civilian life, became "bad-tempered and depressed" (which seems to indicate that he was probably Irish). He began drinking excessively and slid further and further into debt until one morning he got out of bed, dressed himself sharply, combed his hair neatly and shot himself through the brain with a .38 revolver.
Then he cooked breakfast.
His wife found him later that morning (either he used a silencer or she is totally deaf) eating calmly with blood leaking out of both sides of his head. She called a doctor, but there wasn't a whole lot more he could do other than swab out the bullet holes and try to keep the Major's brain from sliding out like a Go-Gurt stick.
The Major was kept at the hospital as an inpatient for five months, during which time he recovered nicely but was a bit disoriented, which is to be expected after a piece of metal rockets through your skull at the speed of sound.
Once he was released, the Major no longer suffered from his previous symptoms of depression, moodiness and delusions. He didn't even remember shooting himself and denied it had ever happened.
In a twist that you would call bullshit on if you saw it in a movie, his attempt at suicide had apparently cured his mental disorder and he lived happily ever after. Seriously, what are the odds?
Whatever they are, they're not high enough to prevent it from happening a second time. A 45-year-old widow living by herself in Maine with a severe case of depression laid her chin on the end of a shotgun one day and pulled the trigger, removing her tongue, nose and part of her brain. After somehow managing to not die from this, her doctors remodeled her face and her depression completely vanished.
Furthermore, her doctor went on record to say, "Today, the patient is practically as good as new physically. Mentally, she is much better." That's right--the woman shot herself in the face with a shotgun and a fucking medical professional said it was an improvement.
Seriously, these are no joke.
go do some research on these if u don't believe what i had posted up here.
and would like to share some of them here.
Self-Destructive Ways People Accidentally Cured Themselves
- Lightning Fixes Everything -
In 1980, 62-year-old Edwin Robinson of Falmouth, Maine had been deaf and blind for nine years as a result of a head injury he received in a collision with a tractor trailer. One day he was wandering around looking for his pet chicken "Took Took" when he suddenly found himself caught outside in a lightning storm, presumably because God felt he hadn't been punished enough.
"Eat that, you sightless bastard."
Rather than return to his house, he began swinging his aluminum cane around to try to find his way to shelter underneath the biggest tree in his backyard, which is the precise decision a person with a severe head injury would make. Meanwhile, we here at Cracked wonder how a blind, deaf man ever expected to find a goddamn chicken, let alone how he managed to determine that it was missing in the first place.
"I said I'm in the kitchen, Edwin! Get your silly ass back inside!"
At any rate, Edwin's metal cane and giant tree shelter proved too tempting for the storm and he was inevitably struck by lightning, blowing out his hearing aid, blackening the grass around him and knocking him out for a good 20 minutes. When he regained consciousness he crawled back into the house and went to sleep, because getting hit with the fury of Zeus tends to wear you out.
When Edwin finally woke up, he found that he could see straight ahead (no peripheral vision) and he that could hear perfectly. Not only that, but his hair even grew back after 35 years of baldness. Like any recipient of a bonafide miracle, Edwin hit the talk show circuit, inspiring a generation of bald, deaf, blind people to try and get themselves struck by lightning.
- Suicide Cures Depression -
Meet The Major, a 55-year-old British army veteran and known asshole who, after returning to civilian life, became "bad-tempered and depressed" (which seems to indicate that he was probably Irish). He began drinking excessively and slid further and further into debt until one morning he got out of bed, dressed himself sharply, combed his hair neatly and shot himself through the brain with a .38 revolver.
Then he cooked breakfast.
His wife found him later that morning (either he used a silencer or she is totally deaf) eating calmly with blood leaking out of both sides of his head. She called a doctor, but there wasn't a whole lot more he could do other than swab out the bullet holes and try to keep the Major's brain from sliding out like a Go-Gurt stick.
The Major was kept at the hospital as an inpatient for five months, during which time he recovered nicely but was a bit disoriented, which is to be expected after a piece of metal rockets through your skull at the speed of sound.
Once he was released, the Major no longer suffered from his previous symptoms of depression, moodiness and delusions. He didn't even remember shooting himself and denied it had ever happened.
In a twist that you would call bullshit on if you saw it in a movie, his attempt at suicide had apparently cured his mental disorder and he lived happily ever after. Seriously, what are the odds?
Whatever they are, they're not high enough to prevent it from happening a second time. A 45-year-old widow living by herself in Maine with a severe case of depression laid her chin on the end of a shotgun one day and pulled the trigger, removing her tongue, nose and part of her brain. After somehow managing to not die from this, her doctors remodeled her face and her depression completely vanished.
Furthermore, her doctor went on record to say, "Today, the patient is practically as good as new physically. Mentally, she is much better." That's right--the woman shot herself in the face with a shotgun and a fucking medical professional said it was an improvement.
Seriously, these are no joke.
go do some research on these if u don't believe what i had posted up here.
Comments