~*R@in's BlOggiE*~

hm. itz christmas today. yest nite abt 7+pm my parentz, my bro & my dog went to da temple down at zion rd to find uncle jimmy they all. eat a lil'. chat a while. louise ask me accompany her go sentosa. (coz nobody accompany her go. lolx.) but nv go la. coz we goin other place. den abt 9+pm. went to my mum'z frenz house at jurong west. got bbq. lotza food. itz nice. but cannot eat too much. wait put on weight. lolx. supposingly we r heading bac to da temple after da bbq party here coz uncle jimmy say at abt 12am got disco at da temple. they gonna hav fun. but ltr nv go le coz uncle jimmy called us & say tt he is going out to other place le. so we bbq until abt 11+pm we go home lo. tis morning woke up at 3+pm. coz was really tired. last few dayz only slept abt 2 hrs. hm. today not goin out. agus juz now called me. he wanna change shift wit me on 31 dec next fri. den i say ok lo. but den ltr den i realised itz new year eve. got countdown party at sentosa. wanna watch it on...

hm. long time no blog le. yest after my morning duty at 3+pm. me went home. bathe. put on make-up. den abt evening 7pm went to changi wit my parentz & those ppl from da temple (@ zion rd). got many youngsterz oso. went to da changi temple there got bbq fun party. itz organised by the ppl there. we had fun. den got games oso. but we nv really took part. my dad kena da banana eating contest. he finished first. he won. lolx. den got many other games oso... lastly.. it was dance contest. only abt 5 indon women from da changi temple took part. (they played most of da games coz we all shy shy den nv play lo keke.) den our frenz keep sabo ppl 1. anyhow ask ppl to join. they oso sabo uncle jimmy. wen the lady announced his name we all stand up & cheer for him den he bo bian he went out sway sway a lil' lo. lolx. they were laughin like hell sia. den they all oso ask me go but i dun wan coz i wasnt prepared & got ppl there la so pai seh. keke. den we all makan makan. chit chat. g...

hm. itz like long time nv rest le. coz last week me ooff-day on tue. den tis week is on sat. so gonna work 10 dayz straight. kinda tired. yest me OT. my beri first OT. keke. was really tired. hm. yest den i found out (the truth) tt bobby is not 36 years old. hez onli 28. he wanna bluff me. lolx. hm. da day b4 yest (mon)... after my duty at 3+pm, me went down to da 'shui xian temple' @ zion road. (da 1 i alwayz go.) my parentz was there waiting for me. den there got makan. uncle jimmy cooked 1. hm. when i reached there... my mum told me tt andy's pet baby monkey has been taken away. sad. itz really cute. so small. but itz illegal to keep. tink itz outside saw it den call police 1. haiz. all those bad ppl. will get 'bao ying' 1. hmph. erm. andy is sad too ba. he likez animals. now his fren gave him a parrot. beri notti 1. keep biting ppl. me oso kena. hm. tomoro me work 11am-7pm. k. kinda tired le. me wanna rest. tatA~

long time no blog le. coz kinda bz. hm. tis 2 weekz working morning shiftz more. i prefer morning shiftz. eventho i gotta wake up as early as 4am. but da time pass faster doin morning shift. last week work many shiftz wit ravin, bobby & keline. they r nice. tomoro no more with them le. diff shiftz. but almost everybody there is nice. so... working wit anyone is fine wit me. ^-^ like long time nv work wit rachel & agus le. nvm. sure will 1. hm. almost everyone treat me nice there. hope i no need to go hskp. keke. will stay at front office. hm. bobby said tt he goin to resign soon. maybe next year. coz he dun like workin there. especially doin cashier. if got shortage amount den muz pay 1. kinda sad. coz he say near me. my 'yishun kaki'. lolx. he's nice. he said he's 36 years old. cannot believe man. i tot he 22 like tt. hez quite trendy in a way. hm. anyway if he wanna quit itz his decision. juz hope tt he'll find a beta job wit good future ba. hm. me tis who...

hm. nowadayz real tired. slp abt midnite. gotta wake up 4am. leave house b4 5.30am to catch da 1st bus. really slpy. alwayz wanted to slp early but cant. eventho i'm slpy. coz i'm not used to it. unless me really really tired goin to collapse ba. lolx. these few dayz workin morning shift. next week oso. almost all morning shifts except for tuesday-off day & wednesday- 11am-7pm. hm. hope i can turn my time a lil'. hm. tomoro 7-3pm. after tt maybe goin msia. coz tue off. keke. long time nv go le. abt a month le. hm. tomoro suppose to be workin afternoon shift 3-11pm. workin wit rachel agus sandra. i like them. but suddenly change to morning le. nvm. work lo. den off. hope can rest in msia. anyway. i wanna rest le. tatA~

hm. juz now was my first afternoon shift. 3-11pm. there was a staff nite (dnd) but i cant be there coz i got duty. urgh. juz now worked wit keline, roshidah. roshidah quite nice too. i like da way keline supervise. she explain nicely and wun get angry if i make mistkz. afternoon shift da time pass slower. but still ok la. hm. during my lunch break i went down i saw agus den he was like... 'eh! rain! come..high 5~!' lolx. hez really funny. & nice too. working wit him is fun & not boring. i like working wit him. hm. today heard tt zan kena bike accident. mc 1 week wor. haiyoo.. wat a bad news. so suddenly 1. i dun even know if hez injury serious or not. hez in da hospital now. but i hope tt he'll recover fast. hm. me got to know Ken from da orchid club floor 1. he really beri fun guy. go makan wit him can die choking sia. den when orchid club guestz is on their way up to check-in, i hav to call them to inform them. sometimez ken pick up da phone. den wen i say da wron...

hm. today my last 11-7pm shift. after tt will be doin normal shiftz le. (7am-3pm/3pm-11pm/11pm-7am). today hotel kinda buzy. quite lotza check-in. but can la. hm. i like workin wit agus. wun be bored 1. sandra is oso nice. hm. roza & rachel too. keline is oso nice but she is more serious (coz she asst supervisor ma.) rachel too is an asst supervisor. afternoon roza kinda 'fight' wit pauline da senior bcoz of me. coz pauline asked me to put da vchr at cashier but wen i ask keline which 1 to put den she say no need so i nv put lo. den i go lunch break. pauline go and find roza ask her do. urgh. dun really know wat happen la. but feel bad tt tis spoil roza's mood. hm. hope nth happen la hor. keke. hm. haiz. everyday duty keep standing wit my court shoes my legz r really tired man. 8hours a day. somemore tk mrt oso no seats to sit 1. alwayz stand. from yishun to bugis man! so tired. den from bugis mrt walk down to da hotel. gosh~ how i wish i got my own limousine service. l...

hm. yest got flu. today not yet recover. but at least beta den yest. hm. juz now got 11am-7pm duty. roza & zan c da way i tok they know i flu. lolx. den zan ask me c doctor eat medicine so so lo. rachel was there too. hm. den ltr lunch time mr george thong asked me to go makan wit him. hm. den tok tok eat eat lo. after eatin me went to da operator room to find suria. hm. agus was there sittin on da floor. today is his off-day. but i tink he come bac for rehersal for da annual staff nite thing. he was so funny. he was wearing da golden color cloth and dancing majiam wat sia. we all kept laughin. den he dance dance suddenly mr ralph ng (our front office mngr) came in & saw him. he quickly throw da cloth on da floor. we all wanted to laugh out but tahan. his reaction was funny. den they all k k lo. ask him abt da cloth all tis. wen mr ng left. we all burst out laughin sia. so loud. i laughed until headache. agus really funny. hm. too bad i cant attend da annual staff nite dinner ...

hm. my 1st course. held at grand plaza parkroyal hotel (itz plaza parkroyal's sister hotel.) at city hall. i gotta be there by 9am. but i reached there 8.30am. still early. so i walk here walk there wait wait den went up to da 'connaught room' which da thing suppose to be held. da room is empty. no onez there yet. so i waited outside. but a guy came over & ask me to go in & sit down 1st. so i did. many were late. wait for everyone to come den start (abt 9+am.). suria (my hotel's operator) came too. hm. den made new frenz. some from indo too. they r nice. funny. da presenter is mr andrew tan. hez funny too. kept makin us laughed like hell. ttz y da corz isnt tt boring. i didnt doze off. coz he do crack jokez and so. hm. we did role play oso. quite fun attendin da corz actually. den got lotza 'tea-breaks & pee-breaks'. lolx. da food is nice. especially da fruit tart. i juz love it. hm. den got watched some videoz. it all ended at 5pm. haiz. since morni...

hm. yest slept at abt 1am. woke up at 4am. really tired man. i dragged myself out of my bed. urgh. my 1st 7am-3pm duty. itz so early. yet i'm stayin so far away. itz really tired to tk da transport. i was so sleepy. wen i reached there da sky is still dark. from da mrt walk down to da hotel is quite far. sianz. yest midnite duty (11pm-7am) got sandra, ravin & roza. den roza chat chat a lil' wit me lo. ravin oso. hez nice too. he told me slowly learn da thingz there no need rush rush so & so. hm. my shift got keline, jacelyn and bobby. 1st time workin wit bobby. he ok lo. not bad. he said tt he was from da same sec skool i was in. north view sec skool. den he was tellin jacelyn tt i am his 'xue mei'. den jacelyn turned ard & tell me 'rain. u beri 'bu xing'(unlucky)' den bobby dunno ans her bac wat la beri funny den i laughed. lolx. hm. work work work. stand stand stand. i prefer to hav check-in or serve guestz or hav work to do. coz wen therez...

hm. last sat rachel & agus tot me thingz too. learnt from them. da way they teach really nice. agus is a funny guy. sometimez siao siao 1. but wen at work he gonna be serious. hm. he alwayz complain abt tiz guest tt guest lolx. anyway. they're nice. sandra oso tot me thingz. erm. tiz morning woke up 8am. my shift is 11-7pm. wen i reach there got keline and agus. and oso duty mngr leslie. he last time oso from shatec 1. hm. i saw my sec skool name or da function board. den i go check check is something like a 'teacher renewal opening'. den got my teacherz namez. hm. i saw some of them. most didnt c me or cant recognise me. urgh..i saw my ex-principal too. he dun rem too. haiz. mrs chua came down to c me. shook my handz and ask some lil' qnz. den they go out le. hope to c them tomoro wen they check out. especially mr. leong & how. they r funny ppl. lolx. hm. juz now leslie keep askin agus to take over my job and handle da guest. wen i wanna help leslie ask him to ...

hm. 9-5pm shift again. first duty @ reception. met new frenz. keline da asst supervisor. jacelyn da senior FOA. & 2 FOA guyz ravin & zan. they're nice & frenly (& young i tink. ard 20+). at 1st i got much prob serving da guest coz i dunno anything there. (i dun even know wherez da swimmin pool at first sia. lolx. the foa staffz r bz doin their work so i offer help to guest lo.) but if i dunno anything they will handle for me. got 1 time da galz r bz doin their thing and a guest asked something which i dun really get wat he mean den i 'k k' go in fidelio & find thingz (i dunno wat i was doin! lolx.) den luckily zan came over "darlin can i help?". phiew~ i was released. den he handle da thing. hm. he came at da rite time. erm. they all tot me lotza thing. keline at first tot me how to write da key card holder & so. den ltr she was bz doin something so jacelyn took over. she tot me really lotza thingz sia. ttz great. she tot me how to "cu...

hm. tiz morning same thing. woke up 6am. left at 7.30am. reached there abt 8+am. me bot burger king breakfast coz beri hungry. (1st time eatin breakfast from there. keke.) den went to locker. change to my uniform and everything. den went to da operator room. mary (senior tel operator) was there le. (anyway. "da lady" whom i said in my previous post.. her name is dorothy chiok. keke. shez da senior tel operator supervisor.) den i makan my breakfast lo. abt 9am ms. chiok came le. after eatin. therez nth much to do. i sat there so slpy.. dozin off sia. den abt 11+am i cannot stand it le so i laid my handz on da comp. lolx. frenster blocked. blogger oso blocked. msn messenger cannot use. urgh. dunno wat to do le. so me go play online gamez lo. mary sat beside me c me play sia. they nv say me. keke. den abt 1pm me go lunch at staff canteen wit ms chiok. hm. today da food got many spicy 1. so didnt eat much. but can fill up my stomach la. den after makan me go bac operator room con...

ji ran ta yi ba wo fang qi na wei he wo hai xiang zhe ta ne ai he bi shi na me de tong ku zhe shi jie you shui zhen zhen de liao jie ai ne shi de. ai qing shi cong man le kuai le dan ye shi tong ku yi bei shang wo ai guo. bei shang guo. ye tong guo. wo zhen de bu gan qu mian dui ai wo bu gan xiang xin ai qing ying wo zhong jue de duo shu de ai dou shi jia de mei you yi ge shi zhen xin de wo de xin yi jing shui le wo shou gou le. zhen de bu xiang zai tong xia qu shuo yi wo bu gan zai xiang xin nan ren de ai nan ren. yi ge you yi ge que mei you yi ge shi zhen de heng zhen xin. ta men neng na me qing yi de fang qi yi qie. ru guo ta shi zhen xin de. bu guan ni zhen yang dui dai ta. ta de xin shi bu hui bian de. bu hui qing yi fang qi de. shui ran wo xian zai bu gan xiang xin ai qing. dan wo hui yi zhi de deng dai zhe. yin wei.. wo hai shi xiang xin.. zhen ai.. hai hui zai... zhen ai shi chun zai de...

hm. slept at 2+am. woke up at 6am. really slpy. but bo bian.. hm. left home for plaza at 7.43am. plaza parkroyal hotel. here i come. in da train me kept yawnin. eyez filled wit tearz. urgh. slpy & sianz... kinda disappointed. nobody msg me. den suddenly received a sms from todeff. it wrotez "Good moring! Hope everything goes smooth for your first attachment day :-P" hm. he give me 'da qi'. and i tell myself. i can do it. hm. reached there at abt 8.45am. edna gave me my name tag, locker key, meal coupon & explained to me abt da rulez of usin it and da costz of loss. den she showed me ard. went to punch-in my card. den went to try out my uniformz. da skirt was kinda big & loose. but nvm lo me juz tk coz da auntie said try da uniformz in set cannot mix ard (da top jacket fitz me.). itz abt 9.40am. edna brought me to da lobby into mr. ralph ng'z (front office manager) office. but he wasnt there. he went for a meetin. so me sat there & wait lo. itz was ...

hm. tis morning woke up at abt 11.45am. went to north point wit my bro at 1+pm. went to eat swensen'z. me blanja. coz tt time he blanja me oso. keke. when finishin da food, my bro ask me to give him da money den he pay. i asked y but he nv ans. so me dun give. den he keep sayin.. den finally he said "if u (gal) pay veri weird la..". den i tink tink. hmmm.. i get wat he mean le. lolx. guy muz pay ma... hor? keke. yea he "pay". but da money came from me! lolx. den we go walk walk awhile. he bot a long sleeve white shirt from giodano. hm. quite nice. but he muz know how to dress nicely. it wld be beta. keke. den we went home le. reach home abt 3.30pm. den me sing karaoke awhile. (long time no sing le. lolx.) den dance dance. den watch da "britney spearz live from las vegas" vcd. until 6+pm. den work out on my body. den trim my nails. den took a shower. came out from da bathroom at 8.30pm. went to put da all clothez into da washin machine to wash. (my sis ...

hm. today me woke up at abt 12.45pm. my mum bot for me chicken briyani. so i eat lo. den tok tok to her. she'z leavin for hat yai. so shez preparin her own thingz. she left home at abt 2pm. den mao lin sms me say meet him 4pm at yishun interchange. we wanna go sembawang shoppin centre. so me go prepare my thingz. wen i came online i saw weichiang online oso. so me ask him along & he said ok. ltr on mao mao called me at 4pm. (me still at home. lolx.) he said meet him at yishun blk 139 there. den i forgot how to go there le. so i say nvm lo i go down myself to ssc so i meet him there. i reached there at abt 4+pm. den weichiang called me. say he still at home. den i ask him faster come me alone den he said ok ok. den me go jalan jalan ard lo. met weiquan at level 3. he workin there. den we tok tok awhile nia lo. den da guyz come le. all tog six of us. me, mao, chiang, yong sheng, alvin, 'elmo' (i dunno his name. =P). den we go upstairz funland. play cs. lolx. long time no ...

wEihAo. i'm sorry to hav hurt ya. but i juz wanna explain to ya here. u may not c tiz. or u will. i dunno. but i will juz say... after so many heartbreakz tt happened to me last time. i dare not step into any relationshipz. i hardly love anyone. but after monthz & monthz. i tot tt da kinda feelin comez bac. i tot tt i found love again. ttz y i accept ya. yea i was happy being wit ya. but i dunno y... it turnz out like tiz. my feelinz is gone suddenly. u may not believe me. but i've tried. but cant. u may think tt tiz r all excusez. coz u dun understand my past maybe. i've been tinkin abt tiz for dayz. cried alone. many timez. i slept wit tearz fallin. but u dunno. coz i dun wanna hurt ya. but den. i tot to myself. if da feelinz is gone, & i still go on wit ya, i feel like i'm lyin to myself & itz like i'm playin wit ya. i hate to play peepz feelingz. but if... i still go on wit ya, tryin to get bac my feelinz, but in da end therez nothing, i will hurt u ...

hm. was bac home not long ago. tiz morning abt 11+am went out to my nearby shopz there wit my mum. go hair salon do color treatment. i chose 'olive brown'. but wen everything is done. i was so shocked to c my hair green!! especially da highlitez. itz lite green. omG~. but itz so much darker now den b4. hm... but... itz green. urgh. goin hotel attachment soon. dunno allow or not. haiyoo. my mum say sure can 1 la. i got nth to say. lolx. done wit my hair at abt 1.40pm. den my 2nd elder bro come meet me den go out tog. met kim koon at yishun mrt there. den we went to causeway point. bot da movie tix 'the doll master' @ 3.45pm. den still got time so we wanna go eat. my bro blanja me go eat swensen'z sia. so good. i ate chicken baked rice. hmmm. yummy. keke. den kim koon'z set meal comez wit dessert but he dun wan he gave me so i ate his ice-cream. hm. 'tan dio'. lolx. den our movie startin soon so we went up to c da movie. hm. da movie nice. not complicated...

hm. tiz morning woke up at abt 11+am. eyez abit swallon. but ltr ok le. den abt 4pm went to yishun mrt to meet rai reen and joyce. den we went down to town. went to sha villa to wait for mel at abt 5pm. she finish her make-up duty at 6pm. so for 1 hr we tok tok tok lo. den we all went to town. jalan jalan. joyce nv follow us coz she gtg meet her aunt or wat lo. hm. rai wanna eat han'z. so we went to far east there to eat tt. den c here c there ard far east. den 7+pm le. went to taka. mel left coz she tired and not feelin well. so left me reen rai. we went to buy takoyaki. den sit down at da stairz in there chit chat. nowadayz i juz feel down. really down. den juz now rai cried. maybe itz bcoz tt we r all seperatin & workin in diff hotel. i dun really know. but i can c tt itz like all seperating and leaving each other. i hope ttz not da thing. i hope tt we'll still keep in touch and if possible, go out tog. i do miss da time we had in skool. da good. da bad. but itz really s...

hm. went to msia on fri (5/11). reach there abt 4+pm. den do tiz do tt... abt 9+pm mel called me. she suddenly said tt she wanna come over. soo suddenly... den i gave her my msia address. den i went to tk a shower. waited for her. itz aready 12+am.. she still haben reach. me start to worry le. den she called again. shez in msia le. shez tkin a cab. wanna tell da address but da taxi driver dun get it. so my mum tell him. den they reached after a while. we sat down. den tot they were hungry. so i baked 2 small pizzaz. my mum & me shared 1. and mel ate 1 herself. coz tingwei dun wanna eat. he sore throat. den sit down tok tok. c tv. abt 3+ my mum bro & me went upstairz le. mel & tingwei slept downstairz. den we went up c hong kong drama until abt 4+am. den sleeeep. next morning woke up at abt 12nn. den went downstairz to wake mel & tingwei up but they were sooooo NUA!!! but my mum go wake them up. beta. lolx. den we went out to buy those bbq thingz. den went home. wen reac...

yesterday.. had my final exam paper. my beri last day in skool. no more skool le. erm. da paper.. can ba. hope can pass all my paperz. after da exam abt 12nn.. my whole class took quite many photoz wit mr lim & mr tham. was laughin so much. den after tt me.. mel & wilfred went to west mall arcade. wanna hav some fun after all examz. we played daytona 2. i got to beat wilfred! so happi. i got in 1st. he 2nd. & mel... sad she didnt get to join in coz she put da tokenz at da wrong side. lolx. den ltr i played alone. got in da 10th place. total of 20 challengerz. quite exciting coz i selected advance (wrongly). den we played da photo hunt. den ltr me & wilfred went to try out da para para dance 2. asked mel to played but she k siao run away. notti she. we danced quite a few timez. den ltr edmund & roger came. they c me dance. sooo pai seh sia. den after a while we gtg le. me & wilfred went bac 1st. mel join nurul daya dunno go where. reached home abt 3pm. took a sho...

hm. tiz morning woke up at 9am. den went to slp again after awhile. den woke up at abt 10am. den went to prepare my tiz and tt. den mel, reena & raidah came to my house at abt 12nn. den we chit chat here laugh laugh there. my mum joined our fun too. loLx. we laughed alotz. hm. my mum and reena became 'good frenz'? lolx. full of crapz... den we left at abt 1pm. took a bus & train down to chinatown. den walked to furama hotel to meet da rest of my classmatez & mr lim too. den we went to subordinate court. got a tour there at abt 2.30pm. watched a short video. den went to 'sit in'/'hearing'. abt a case of a husband & wife trying to cheat da insurance and so. was kinda boring coz we cant hear wat da lawyer and tt man tokin abt. den we went to hav a look at diff other courtz. den we left at abt 4.30pm. den me, mel, reena and raidah went down to town. jalan jalan at far east. den go lucky plaza. reena wanna eat da char kway teow there. den we went to h...

hm. juz now me got duty at sha counter (changi airport) 12-8pm. me alone. so sian. morning follow patsy go T1 canteen buy makan. den was at north counter. kinda boring. den later abt 3pm bernard came. patsy went home le. den sit there nv tok much. me kept yawning. not much guests. so slpy sia. dozin off. but luckily there got mag to c. den later me 5+ go makan. alone. not used to it sia. nobody sittin wit me eat den i stare at other ppl. lolx. den eat le me was tranfered to south counter. florence was there. den later hamidah came. den me help wit some of da guestz. den sit there tok tok to hamidah. hm. 8pm le. duty finish. my deAr came down to acc me home. so nice but tired of him. den we go my house there 'pasar malam' jalan jalan awhile. c here c there. nobody sellin pc gamez... i wanna buy wor.. haiz... nvm. den my dear came up my house sit sit. and makan. he oso helped to wash up da dishez. keke. den he left at abt 11+. hm. tomoro me goin msia. will be bac on sun. i will m...

hm. tiz morning supposed to wake up at 6am. but den tink maybe was tired den overslept. my dad woke me up at abt 8.20. den i jumped out of my bed. den i run ard my room sayin 'aiya late le late le!'. den my dad ask me wat time my class start den i said 9am. den he gave me $20 to tk a cab there. (luckily itz my dad who woke me up. if i woke up myself findin tt i'm late.. i wun get da money to tk cab. lolx) den i gave my dear a call coz i suppose to meet him at 8.15 at cck. den he go skool 1st. hmm. i tink tink... since i got money to tk cab le.. den if i late for skool 5 mins.. or 30 mins.. oso will get 1/2 dp. so i no need so rush lo. lolx. den reached skool at abt 9.20. hm. den lunch time mel jerene we all go 207 kopitiam eat. hmm. den had a test. mr lim's work economics. tink gonna fail le. coz nv study at all. hm. had our last lesson wit mr lim. so sad... hez really nice. da best teacher i've eva seen. hm. finished skool ard 4+. den meet my dear at cck. he really...

tis morning meet my classmatez at raffles place mrt ard 9.30am. coz we gotta a skool outing to asian civilisation musuem (acm). 3 class combine. cao jan'04 (my class), cao apr'04, and cfbo jan'04. got to c some history stuffs. abt da qin dynasty...buddha and so.. finished at abt 11.05am. den went to tk some picz. den my dear came down to find me. den me.. my dear.. jerene.. corrine and wilfred went to suntec city to eat. den go walk walk. up to arcade to play games. me challenged daytona wit wilfred but he got in 1st wor. hm. next time gotta challenged him again. hm. den later on challenged my dear. hm. beri fun. coz we bang here bang there. lolx. but i got in 1st. dunno he purposely let me win or wat. keke. but was really fun. hm. den me feel like watchin moviez. den dear acc me. we watched 'ouija board bunshinsaba'. horror movie. kinda scary. but to me zombiez more scary! lolx. now dun hav zombiez show leh... hm.. my dear dear blanja everything wor. dear... no mon...

hm. juz now was my last duty at sha villa. hskp. 2.45-10pm. morning shift got mel gabriel nurul gaoyu reena they all but their duty finish ard 3+. den left me doin wit rosie. and steph too. hm. cleaned 3 rooms. swept da dried leaves in da car park area. didnt really did much things. da staff meal not nice. like for hospital patients eat 1. lolx. during makan time i saw abigail. hm. long time no c her le. makan finish le. den. chat on da phone wit my dear. lucky got him to chat wit abo me really gonna rot le coz was kinda bored. hm. eventho i dun like sha villa... but i will miss da place. not da hotel. but da shopz houses there. coz there got lotza nice nice makan. maybe next time when i'm free i will go there eat. ^-^. hm. tomoro maybe goin out makan wit my mum. at north point ba. hm. den gotta rest ba. sat goin out again. ACM. (dunno wat civilian musuem la.) wit my class & mr lim. gotta be there at 9.45am. finishes abt 12nn. den after tt go gai gai wit dear dear. hm. hope to ...

Wrap your arms around me, show me how you love me save me from this feeling of pain please don't let me fall again... If you love me like you told me, please be careful with ma heart, u can take it just don't break it or ma world would fall apart... Its how you say i love you And how it makes me feel Knowing in my heart that what you say is real...

They don't see the pain in my eyes They see the bright smile, the cheery voice and joyous laughter but they don't see the pain. They don't see the pain in my eyes They see the smart person, the sweet person, and the fun person but they don't see the pain. They don't see the pain in my eyes They see a sister, a daughter, and a friend but they don't see the pain. Nobody see the pain in my eyes. As i alwayz hide it inside. My tearz. sadness. painz. hurtz. Nobody will eva know. As i'll alwayz put on my smile. itz fake. but no one knowz. itz really painful. to hide my sadness. tearz. and so. Everybody only see my smilez. but not watz behind my smilez. Nobody will really c da pain in my eyez...

yo. long time no blog here le. hm. duh. yest. my housekeepin duty at sha villa. juz sux. partner wit zen. shez a senior. hm. overall we cleaned 10 roomz. i cleaned all da toiletz. she did da bedz. kinda unfair. but wat to do. ppl diploma ma. haiz. tis semester da diploma students not nice 1. they tink they beri 'big' wor. but oso made mistakez. lolx. dunno wat to say abt those peepz. nvm. den my duty finished off at 4pm. my dear came down to wait for me. den we went down orchard to jalan jalan awhile. nth much to shop. hm. den we left at abt 6pm. i got off at yishun. bot takoyaki. went home. eat. den bathe. put on my make-up. at abt 7.40pm. syikin came. den we went to 400+ to tk my photoz. developed le. kinda nice. hm. den we went to find mao mao. at blk 156 kopitiam. coz da next day (today) is his bday. hm. zhong han was there. my kinda long lost fren. hm. oso got wei jie. teow kiat. alvin. and so. den we went to blk 14-something there. actually wanted to play bball & socc...

We've been friends for not long You've always made me feel like I belonged You always listened and cared You never stared Like all the others did when I would do something dumb You'd always laugh and call me a bum When I didn't feel like getting up to on line Then one day you said be mine I hadn't realized it before But I had this deep feeling inside my core Where I didn't want you to leave Because you had made me believe That not all men are bad And sometimes friends that never get mad Can someday become lovers That were meant to be together forever

I had a broken heart, That I thought nobody could ever fix. I thought I loved a guy that loved me back, But I guess I was wrong. You came along and made me one of the happiest girls alive. You took my broken heart and made it one of the best hearts anyone could have. Now you have my heart and I hope you wont break it. Because the guy who did, Is suffering now that I don't love him the way I use to. I am trusting you with my heart, And you better not break it, Because once you do you will never be able to put it back together.

hm. today. (7/10). bac to sha villa le. hm. mr. ithin on duty. den later is mr. richard. heng ar. lucky no rizal. can die. kena torture. keke. me partner wit ruslina. den morning shift got jerene & gabriel. so not tt lonely. den after a while jerene & gabe duty finish. went off le. hm. mel today do hskp. notti she. alwayz so playful. hm. den saw alfie bambang weisheng they all at cinamon room. chat awhile wit them. hm. mr richard got a new hp. sony ericsson k700i. da one i wanT!!! oh my god. feel like puttin it in my pocket and go home. lolx. itz nice. den he sent me some songz in da hp. lolx. tiz kinda supervisor oso got. keke. but he not bad la. everytime kajiao me. hm. not a bad day today. hope tomoro will be like tt too. tomoro oso 2-10pm shift. front office. ok. i stop here. c yA~

I go to school everyday Barely making it through I'm broken inside And no one has a clue Thatz bcoz I do such a good job Trying to hide my pain I smile and I laugh but secretly In my world, there's only rain When I get home My smile starts to fade The laughter goes away And many tears are made I just wish I could tell people What I have kept inside About how I hate my whole life And how many tears I've cried But they can't see behind the happiness What are they blind? I wish they knew what Many thoughts run through my mind They need to look behind my smile Find the real me Bcuz inside I'm crying a river And always will be...

tis morning went skool. didnt meet nurul. coz she woke up late. me went alone. hm. reach skool quite early. 8.30. nobody in class. only me joyce and faith. den i walk here walk there. dunno wat to do. den later daya come. mel. and so. den lesson startz. ms veronique lau teaching. later on she asked us to design a best aeroplane. den my whole class was folding paper aeroplane and den throwin it from one end to the other. was so fun. itz like we r kidZ! hm. during lunch time. weihao joined us. but. while me & mel was waitin for him. my malay frenz went up mrt 1st. den we went up to find them. they were not there. they juz left us behind like tt. no even a call to us. juz 'put us aeroplane' like tt. but nvm. we go jurong point find them. they were aready eatin. den me and mel go buy smth to eat. den they finish their food 1st (of coz). den i dun like them to wait 'wit a kinda face' so i say nvm lo. they go 1st. den left me mel and weihao. hm. mel da joker. tok nonsence...

hm. today. bac to skool. gotta c da frenz i miss. and mr lim too! hm. 1st lesson. wit ms soh. teachin abt law. hm. i left my book at home. so forgetful. hm. den 2nd lesson. itz mr lim!! we chit chat. hav small tokz. he asked us individually abt thingz like...wat we learn in our corz, shatec and sha villa. hm. i didnt say much. i only said...i made lotza frenz in tis skool. lolx. den later on he gave commentz on each and everyone of us. den he said to me... "rain... hm... u r very emotional..... and playful oso... hm... i still rem tt time our whole class went to east coast park for outingz den u got lost in da woodz." lolx. da whole class laugh. den i apologised to him. coz tt day he waited for me and mel to come bac until quite late. hez really da best teacher i've eva known. den after his lesson we took our whole class photoz. wit mr lim! hm. majiam itz graduation day. lolx. but itz great to tk class picz! hm. me wanna finish da film in my cam fast. den can go develop. ...

I love you more than life itself But I am afraid to love. My heart is like the fragile wings Of a tiny little dove. I'm scared to get too close. I feel that I can't win. You'll love me for a little while Then you'll set me free again. I've lived so long on hopes and dreams I don't know what to do. I don't think I can trust my heart, For it belongs to you. I know you'll only hurt me Yet, I still keep running back. Between the paths of our hearts There's a worn and beaten track. You've got my heart held on a string. It is breaking right in two. Enough belongs to me -to hurt- The rest belongs to you. I know that somewhere in your heart There is a place for me. I just don't know how to find it And there's no way to make you see. I can only hope that someday You'll wake up and you'll find, That while my heart belongs to yours, Yours, too, belongs to mine.

hm. tis afternoon (2 oct) met daya 2pm at orchard. den we went shoppin. at far east basement. my fav shoppin place. bot a small soft toy. heart shape. pink color 1. $1.50. den went to cineleisure. saw jamie yeo there. playin some games wit da peepz there. den ate long john silver there. den abt 4.30. nurul came to meet us. den we go hmv. shop! i bot a pink cap from 77th street at $26.50. den bot a jap cap at $21.90. hm. nice. i like those. den we went to tk sticker picz. so nice and fun. so happi. den after tt they gotta go. at abt 5.45. den me walk here walk there while waitin for weihao. den he came at abt 6.20? hm. den go here go there. went to hmv to tk picz again. he 'blanja'. keke. was really fun. hm. nice. den dunno where to go. den go c movie. bot da tix for 9.35pm. dodge ball. hm. he 'blanja' again. den at tt time it was still early. abt 7.45. we went to burger king drink and eat friez. den we went down to sha villa to c mel. she alone. so tok tok wit her. lau...

quiet is my heart when i sense your near, no more waves of raging fear blinding my path that leads to your heart. soft is your smile as it feeds my soul, hungry for your love is all that i am. warm is your touch that keeps me alive, without this hope i couldnt survive. intoxicating is your kiss as you let me in, how long will i be here, when will it end? do you know i live every day just for you? to be in your arms there's nothing i won't do. thank you for today, for its all that i have, will you share your tomorrow? .......quiet is my heart....... ___..:sAdz RaiN:..___

hm. tis morning met minah serina and mel at orchard abt 9.20am. den went into goodwood park hotel. human resource department. interview. but only me and serina got into da 2nd interview wit front office manager. sadz. i feel sad for my frenz. da hotel look for certz and physical appearance 1. i tink itz not fair for otherz lo. haiz...hm. da front office mngr is beri particular in our english language. hm. ask lotza qnz. was too nervous. hm. but. ok la. hm. after tt da 4 of us went far east shop shop. oh my! looooong time no shop le. juz now saw lotza thingz i like. gotta save money buy le. hm. den nurul came down to meet us too. after tt minah got duty at 2pm so she got 1st. den mel and serina wanna continue shoppin at far east. so me and nurul went to hmv. shop here and there. den wo bot a von dutch sling bag. itz black and pink. actually we r buying tt for minah'z bday next mon. but den...we squat down there admirin da bag. we like da bag too! lolx. but only bot 1. for minah. hm....

hm. tis morning (30/9) met raidah at yishun den took bus 858 to changi airport. met yishan there. me & rai bot 2 'heartz choco' for reena each. red and gold. den go eat burger king. met runni. when eatin reena, her mum and relative came. reena sat tog wit us. wit runni too. den eat and laugh. den follow reena go departure hall (at T1). coz she'z leaving for vietnam for her soccer thing. den her other frenz came. den later tok here tok there. we left at abt 1.30. hugged and kissed reena. den said bye to her peepz there. den report at sha counter (T2). den florence ask me to go T1 sha counter. alone. urgh... but luckily itz patsy there. abo gonna be real bored. hm. was doin nth. only smsing weihao and cuttin paper. of coz got handle da guest abit la. den lunch time yishan and lulu come find me go eat at T1 canteen. me ate ban mee. den i ordered chinese rojak. only 'you tiao'. when yishan saw. she was so excited. lolx. she kept sayin tt itz very nice. lolx. den we ...

hm. tis morning (28/9) went to skool. the lesson schedule suddenly change. ms tok nv come so dun hav her lesson. den da dunno wat lesson move forward. so and so. kinda confused. den goodwood park hotel wanna hav a tok wit us. den we got no lunch time! den 'suay suay' da vending machine down there broke down. argh...but den later on it was repaired. hm. since morning stomach was empty until skool finished at abt 3.30pm. stomach pain these few dayz. hav not been eatin well. hm. we went to burger king to eat. den asked laren and da guyz to join us too. hm. after eatin nurul minah and serina left 1st. left wit me and mel. den got more and more dcs peepz comin. den mel said 'we r crowded by dcs ppl'. lolx. den tok here tok there. hm. smth funni happened. mel was sittin opp. me. den our face went closer & were tokin abt smth. when......a guy named 'danny' came to da next table den bent down to tok to his frenz. (his butt were juz facin beside our facez.) but we c...

As i lay in this bed. im praying to you To take me outta this world. which is makin me blue. I cant take it no more. all this sorrow and pain. Im so scared of tomorrow and im scared of today. When will i do it. when will i say goodbye. When will i leave this pain. and when will my spirit fly. When will i be able to smile. and walk with my head held high. When will i be able to sleep. without having to cry. I cant take it no more. god bring me home. Down here im so scared and im all alone. Well here i go. This is my last goodbye. Finally no pain. And no more will i cry...

I am just so unhappy, and I don't know why. I can't bear this pain, but I refuse to cry. I don't know what I'm yearning for. Is it love, glory, hope? I don't know why I'm miserable anymore. When I watch movies or read stories, I see the happy ending there. Why can't I have that kind of joy? I want to escape, but to where? Just when I think the rain may stop falling, The clouds decide to stay. My depression won't leave me alone, And happiness is far away. ___..:RaiN:..___

yoz. hm. juz now went to cut my hair. wit my mum. now. kinda new hairdo. my frige is short. add abit highlitez. my dad sayz i look like coconut head. lolx. so bad. hm. me used to my hairdo now. kinda weird. hm. gonna meet nurul at cck tomoro. she wanna c my hair. lolx. my frenz will laff. nvm. they laff i pull their hair. lolx. nah juz kidd. me not tt bad. keke. erm. tomoro gonna be bac to skool le. happi. miss my frenz. my teacher. and my skooL! hope itz gonna be a new day for me. duh. me now kinda bored. nth to do. anyway. c ya guyz tomoro! miss ya badly darLinx. take care. muAcKz.~ -she will be loved-

hm. tis morning went to bugis met nurul den go interview at plaza parkroyal hotel. after tt abt 12.15pm we went to bugis junction eat mac den walk walk a while. den minah got interview at 3pm so we accompany her go da hotel again. after tt go meet laren. weihao. todeff. at bugis junction go jalan jalan. we took many stickerz picz! so happy. long time no take le. was so excited. screamin while takin. lolz. so loud and noisy. but was really happi. den minah hungry wanna go BK eat. den suddenly turn ard da guyz went missing. like small kidz siak. den find here find there. me like mother like tt. den call them. they go arcade. haiyoo. den me nurul minah go BK. den later go find da guyz at arcade. me played 'Daytona' wit nurul and minah. so fun. long time nv play oso. keke. really fun. hm. after tt minah nurul went off 1st coz they got smth on. den me stay a lil' while more. den da guyz followed me go temple. pray. den they go da nearby kopitiam makan. tok tok there. den a while...

hm. juz now. kinda many frenz here. hm. frenz from sec skool. frenz from my skool. really happy today. got to play soccer. really miss it. long time no play leh. since last year. hm. didnt really entertain every single 1 of them coz got so many frenz here. den gotta go here go there. hope they understand ba. hm. now my nasi lemak 'diao du' liao...hm. but really fun to play soccer wit my frenz. but i injured my kneez. so clumsy. kept fallin down. maybe i dun eat pork leg. lolx. hm. got many presentz from them. really nice. hm. got lotza photo framez tis time. dunno y. but really nice. hm. somemore got......4 doggy soft toyz. self-made paper starz in a bottle. hm. perfume. sling bag. a necklace. 4 photoframez. and. a clock. hm. really love everything. hm. tomoro got interview at plaza parkroyal hotel. at 11.30am. goin wit nurul. herz is 11am. hm. maybe goin jalan jalan after tt. coz beri boring 1 go home so early. hm. ok la. will be bac for updatez. ttz all for today. niTeZ~!

hm. juz now got exam paper. last 1. den tomoro is prac exam. den no more le. hm. wen goin out of skool wit daya. da laren said his fren can 'tong pang' us go west mall. lolx. so good. hm. den we go west mall tog. wit weihao and todeff. hm. den saw my group of malay frenz there. den they join us go eat. me didnt eat much. no appetite. den when goin home. da train reaching woodlandz. itz was raining beri heavily. all da way to yishun. when me get down da trian. was so cold. den feel so hungry. bot da takoyaki. come home eat. hm. now doin nth much. in msn chattin away. tomoro after prac exam me goin m'sia le. will be bac on sat. ok nth mcuh to say le. c ya!

hm. today. can say itz one of my happiest bday. coz so many peepz sms & wished me. even my pri skool frenz. sec skool frenz. soooo nice. kinda touched lo. my frenz even called to wished me. and.....i recieved a mysterious call at abt 12.35am. wishin me happy birthday. but when i ask her she say she dunno who she is. but i tink is reena. but cant confirm she tok majiam 'dedication' sia. keke. hm. not like last year. almost everyone forgot. even my own bro. hm. juz now went for interview wit raidah. but hav to go there again coz juz now didnt get to c da f/o manager coz he bz. toopid 1. waste my time. hm. raidah forgetz my bday. shez blur. lolz. but she treat me coffee bean 'vanilla' ice blend after she notice it. keke. and she gave da bigger cup size to me. lolx. i tink coz she feelz bad. hm. den went down to toa payoh to meet my mum & sis. go eat. den buy some thingz den my dad come fetched us home. hm. tomoro got exam again. nv study at all. not even a single l...

hm. today'z exam...can la. hope can pass. hm. juz now in da train goin bac home...novotel apollo hotel called m3. they ask me for an interview tomoro at 2pm. hm. scary. gotta go. but luckily my fren oso tomoro interview there. so i wun be alone! if not me really beri scared lo. hm. hope they wun ask toopid qnz ba. ok. me gotta rest. ta~ta.

hm. tomoro exam liao le wor. haben even started studyin. tomoro (mon) & wed examz. thurz got prac examz. scary. itz really scary to face da tutorz as 'guest' to do da prac examz. i'll shiver here & there and forget everything. urgh..... later gotta 'really' study. hm. i mean. at least read thru ba. den after examz i really wanna relax man... yest man utd draw. cristiano'z new haircut is nice. neat. suit him. he lookz younger. keke. hm. no matter man utd lose (choi choi choi!) or win!! i will still support them! ok. nth much to say today. gtg. c ya.

me so sian diaoz wor....yest heard that we hav to go bac to sha villa next semester. so f*ck up 1. i'm sooo sian diaoz. sadz too. tt time we tot tt it was our last duty there. were soooo happy. & i told myself tt i will nv be bac at sha villa eva again. but now.... hav to go bac to tt toopid place. y? y sia? so sian. tired. me feel really sian to be bac there. i prefer goin skool much more den goin to tt f*ckin place! how i wish singapore got bomb/mines/earthquake. how i wish tt building will collapse! den no more sha villa. haiz... but now no matter how much i say how angry i am i still hav to go bac there. but hope da dutiez next semester will pass really fast at sha villa. but i wanna really enjoy my last 5 weekz in skool next semester lo. hope to hav a memorable timez. haiz. next week examz. scared. especially practical! gotta face da tutor. scary. haiz.

haiz. me really tired. juz now post tis 2 timez but itz gone. so toot 1. me lazy to type all over again. juz a summary ba. me today stood for abt 7 hours. legz so pain. den after duty me + raidah went to c many hotelz. from somerset. den we took bus to great world city. ate mac. raidah was so excited abt da washroom there. it was her 1st time there. keke. hm. den from there we walked down to havelock road to c hotel den (anyhow) walk to chinatown den walk walk to clarke quay. den from there me took train bac home & raidah took a bus. me was dozing off all da way bac home. really tired and sleepy. we had a long journey today. tomoro me & my group of frenz goin peninsula excelsior hotel to do our assignment. den we go down to plaza parkroyal to tk smth. hm. hope i can be bac home early. me really wanna hav a good rest. ok i tink ttz all for today. c yA!

yOz. hm. was bac home not long ago from m'sia. didnt really get to relax over there. coz i was doin my f/o assignment and sales & marketin assignment yesterday. do until quite late. 2.30am. den went to slp. tis morning my parents woke me up at abt 11am. so sianz..... den go out makan. buy somethingz. den come bac s'pore le. now rottin at home. really bored. maybe later gotta help my mum. dunno wat she doin in da kitchen. hm. tomoro got duty. (my beri da last duty at sha villa wor!) den i will not be bac there again. will be in skool studyin. til october. den nov goin attachment le. ork oh. me haben sent resume. *sigh. me dunno which hotel to choose. can somebody help me?? -_-... i really dunno. so scary. me afraid to be alone at da hotel. hope my fren will go to da same hotel i will be in. den i wun be lonely. me so sad. really sad. hope tt time will fliez...til next year nov. i rather go skool study den goin attachment man. i dunno y i'm here. >_

hm. juz now reached home at abt 11pm. got housekeeping duty today at sha villa. 1-9pm. today f/o got joyce and minah. at least not so boring. got frenz to chit-chat wit. actually today housekeeping nth much to do. lil' work. but good lo. keke. hm. at abt 9pm my dad & mum came & fetched me. so good. if i go home myself so sian man. hm. now bac home. chit chat abit in msn wit frenz. browsin thru frenster. and now updatin my lil' blog. tomoro still f/o got duty at sha villa sia. so sian. itz 8-4pm. den next week is my really last day at sha villa! kinda happy. hm. hope somebody is listenin to me in da blog. dun make me tok alone plz...

in places no one will find. all ya feelingz so deep inside. was now that i realised. that foreva was in ya eyez. the moment i saw ya cry. i wanted to hold ya. i wanted to make it go away. i wanted to know ya. i wanted to make ya everything all ritez... ____..: Ra|n :..____

hm. in skool now. comp lab. now havin cough. a bad headache too. arGh~ so pain. so tired. how i wish i'm at home now. so sad. toopid skool. now skool comp no frenster no msn messenger. banned everything many peepz r playin. toopid. nth beta to do. now so boring. cannot chat online in skool le. haiz. me now really sianz wor. head pain. heart pain. can somebody help m3?! i'm really tired. so boring. >_

kinda bored tiz few dayz. really beri tired. tired of skool. tired of dutiez. how i wish i can stay at home wit my mum. go shoppin. c moviez. relac. but now cannot sia. skool skool skool. hope da time will really fliez from now til next year nov and my attachment to hotel is finished! all salary taken and i'm free! hope time really fliez. not crawL!!

yOz. bac here again for updaTez. hM. today kinda happy. coz i gotta cut my frenz lovely hair. reena & daya. few dayz ago i oso did cut nurul'z fringe. kinda happy. thankz my lovely frenz who allow m3 & gave m3 da chance & opportunity to cut hair. today den i find that i really love to cut my frenz hair. quite fun. but i'm serious wen cuttin. ^-^ hm. (more specific). i cut nurulz fringe a lil' to make her looks more cuti3! hm. lessen reenaz hair coz her hair is thick. and oso. i finally get to cut dayaz hair. coz she everytime tie her hair. she nv had a chance to 'show off' her hair nicely. so i cut and layered her hair. now she got a fringe. a nicer hair. (which i think suitz her). wen i c her new hairstyle + look. i feel good & glad. juz wanna recall bac. da beri beri first person who allowz me to lay my hands on her hair is reena. tt time she suddenly ask me to cut. without any worriez. majiam i got hairstylin cert. i was so 'ya li'. but s...

hm. juz now was at changi airport doin duty from 12-8pm. hm. kinda bored there. but itz much more beta den sha villa. at changi airport i get to meet & communicate wit lotz of peepz. some r funny. some r frenly. some r fussy. & many wit blue eyez. loLx. nice working wit those supervisor. most r so nice. like patsy. norma. florence. rosnah. geok. etc. not like those at sha villa. not nice 1. all act act fierce. ka na sai wor. hmpH~ -_-. but no more airport duty le. bac to sha villa liao. sianz. tomoro bac to skool. hope i can make more new frenz in skool coz my many frenz r out of skool le. mostly at outletz. so gonna be boring in skool. hm... today gotta really bad gastric. coz since yesterday hadnt had a nice meal. only eat lite food. til today cannot tahan le coz really pain so i eat lo. now still pain sia. hm. ok la. gtg. will be bac soon. byE~

hm. today juz came bac from malaysia. tomoro got duty at changi airport. so sian man. somemore alone sia. can die of loneliness. -_-. thiz lil' msg is for lil' RaidaH:- thankz for giving comment to me (in ya blog). yea ya rite. we gotta move on wit life. and i know u guyz gonna be there for m3. in life. in fact many thingz dun go our way. but..yea. ttz really LIFE. thankz dear. but...y of all titlez u put 'move ya body gal'? loLx. anyway. c ya. hm. til now still sad. love went silent. where is my love. where r ya hiding. i dunno y. y love alwayz dun go my way. is that how love life should be? is love so complicated. difficulT. painful. hurtin'. if so. den y god made love? y he made us and make us difficult? y cant life go smoothly to wat i wan? erm. maybe god wanna c for us which is da rite 1. maybe he dun wan us ending up wit da wrong 1. maybe all da while he've been lookin out for us. itz juz tt we udn know and wanna blame him. but if hez rea...

*sigh. juz now presentation really ka na sai sia. the diskette is with yishan but she sick. so we gotta find our own wayz to present. mr. tham oso like dunno wat. da teacherz dun understand anything. only mr. lim is da best. he really understandz peepz. he's caring. not like otherz. hm.... i keep cryin these few dayz. dunno y. a lil' thing i will cry. wanna tahan my tearz oso dak boleh. went home oso cry. in class oso cry. haiz...but luckily i got my really understanding parentz who alwayz support m3. haiz. life really suxz. gotta study thingz tt i dun like. not my interest at all. -_-, hm........and oso...love. love life. suxz too. juz suxz. whoeva i wanz will leave & da onez stayin is not da one i love. why is love like tt? maybe itz juz life. but why...life is so difficult. haiz. juz hate love. love really makez me suffer. alot. how i wish there is no pain. no love. in life...

>_

hM. tis morning went to causeway point wit my elder sis to eat at Jack's Place. da food is nice. after that i went to sha villa for my duty & my sis went bac home. i supposed to start work at 2pm but i went here 1pm. now i'm still here at sha villa. today got no supervisor. soo good. met some new studentz from april intake class. quite fun doin my shift today. juz now breal time i ate spaghetti set! only $5. delicious. hm. today i ate lotza good food yo. keke. my duty finish at 10pm. 1 hour plus to go. later my dad will be here to fetch me to m'sia. den will be back in s'pore on tuesday. my cousin will be goin to m'sia too. my mum & aunt is aready there waiting. hm. wednesday got test. sianz. gotta bring my f/o book over to study. but i wun really study la. lolx. ^-^ anyway. will be bac here to update again. do miss m3...

juz came bac from NuruL'z uncle wedding (which suppose to be tomoro). not many peepz there. coz my classmatez will be there tomoro. i reach there abt 8+pm. sit there tok tok den eat den went up to nurulz house. her house quite nice. the living room wall is PINK!!! loLx. den at abt 9.30 den we leave. we did take some photoz there coz i was my very first invitation to a malay wedding. keke. luckily i bring syikin along abo i will be so lonely coz my frenz all goin there tomoro. somemore me only chinese there. so many peepz c. malu malu. keke. how i wish i can be there tomoro to c how is the wedding process done but cant. i've got duty. toopid. -_- haiz..now my eyez r soooo tired. tomoro sian sia. duty 2pm - 10pm. can die eh. den after duty my dad will be bring me to malaysia straight. i can c my mum! shez there noW. will be bac in tues ba. eveybody muz miss me yoz. but i doubt ya will. anyway. i'm really soo damn tired. wanna go now. niTeZ~

hm. in skool now. kinda bored here. later got lesson. i'm hungry. yummy. i'm juz bored. so bored.lunch soon. hm....i wanna eat. hm. makan makan. kuku. hoho. siaO! i miss many peepz man. *sigh. i wanna go overseas. hm. love juz suxZ! sux....u know?? u dun. toopiD~ no one understandz me. really no one. how i wish therez no tomoro for me. haiz. anyway. i gotta go makan now. will be bac soon~

YoyOz. m3 bac heRe. paSs fEw dayz kinda busy. wit sha villa duty. doin housekeepin'.but at least i had fun doin' tt. beta den at front office. stand stand & stand whole day. especially wit tt f*ckEr iDiotiC RizaL. aLwayz like to 'aCt'. & alwayz 'taRgetin' m3. WHY ME?!?! he alwayz ask me do toopiD thinGz. hAiz. wat to do. hAv to 'tahan'. but luckily at leAst mR. iThiN undErstand. buT nOt reaLLy understanD dA whoLe maTter. cOz i diDnt teLL him. *siGh. now. juz came bac. from sha villa. kinda tired. but had fun doin wit YisHan. shez funni.hM. laTer gonNa batHe. dEn c vCd. dEn coMe onLine. c iF i cAn meEt mY cOusin. miSs hEr rEaLLy aLot. hM. kinDa happY tO hEar fROm my mUm tT tz cOmin' thuRz mY paRentz gOnNa briNg m3 tO fiNd uncLe jiMmy. kinDa miZ hiM & dA tEmpLe. loNg timE nV gO theRe. lasT timE aLmosT everYdaY go theRe untiL laTe Late 1. hM. i uSed tO pLay 'pOoL' aT MiRaMar HoteL wiT dA pEopLe froM tT teMpLe. kinDa fUn. miZz dA tiMe...

yOz. Bac hoMe aT aBt 2+pM. nOw is aReaDy 3.10pM. jUz fiNisH wAshiNg dA baLcoNy. cHaNgiNg mY dOg'z ToiLet'z nEwpapEr. & nAgGinG @ mY bRo. *siGh. nOw HaviN' a hEadaChe. bUt kinDa haPpy cOz mY mUm'z cOmin' bAc toNitE!! LaTer gOnNa bAthE. SwEep + mOp dA fLoOr. iF gOt tiMe dEn gOnNa 'puLL' mY dOg tO sHoweR. aBo sMeLLy. hM. jUz nOw wEnt tO JuroNg EntErTainMent CentRe.whiLe watin fOr oUr tEacheR. wE wEnt uP tO c dA 'iCe sKatiNg'. hM. iT LoOkz KiNda fUn. bUt iT loOkz sLipPerY. PeEpz kEpt faLLin' dOwn. sO niCe. a 'aNg moH' Lil' gaL waVed aT mE. sO cUte neHz. hM. aFter waTchin iT. weNt dOwn tO PizZa hUt tO eAt wth mY whoLe cLaZz + cOurSe TuTor. hM. So fuLL. gOt tO eAt 'HaWaiaN' pErsOnaL pAn PizZa + PePs + CreAm oF cHicKen sOup + BreAdsTicK. hAd a gReaT LunCh. i fEeL tHat i'M QuiTe 'XiNg fU' lo. oSo dUnNo y. i tHink thInk oF LotzA tHingZ. sUdDenLy feeL liKe tT. mAybE iTz beCoz i hAv soMeonE liKe my DaD & MuM. mY Dad i...

hM. now. sOo rEaLLy lonely. aLL alone at homE. mY mum is iN BangkOk riTe now. mY eLder Sis is wt hEr. mY eLder bRo is oN duTy nOw aT ChanGi AirpOrt. mY dAd iS wOrkiNg. LeFt m3!! wt my cuTe+nOtti dOg. nOw i'M da onLy 'gaL' @ hoMe. i gOtta waSh dA cLotheZ. HaNg dEm' uP. waSh dA disHez. mAke aLL da bEdz. LoOk aFter mY dOg. & oSo mY dAd. gOtta gve hm taKe meDicinE as hE aLwayZ fOrgEt. tHs aLL are wAt mY mUmmy 'hAnd oVer' tO me. i'M nOt tirEd dOin thoSe. i'M jUz bOreD... i miZz mY mUm. wEn i cOme bAc fRom skOoL. i wiLL aLwayZ c hEr @ hOme. bUt nOw. nO oNe. onLy mY dAd & bRo. iTz liKe sO diFfereNt. hOw i wsh i wAs aT BanGkok wt her RiTe nOw. bUT aNywaY. sHe cOmin' bAc tOmoRo! yEsh! tOmorO! jUz tOmorO! KinDa Happy nOw. i'M eXcitEd fOr tOmoRo cOz...My wHoLe cLass iS gOnNa reLeaSed eArLy (aBt 11aM.) & wiLL be gOin tO JuRong cEntre @ JuroNg EasT tO eAt!! (fOr 'CTIS') i jUz liKe dA feeLing. gOin aS a BiG grOup Out tOg.. wE goNna eAt Piz...

Please mommy, do not cry For ages now I have wanted to die Please little brother, do not weep I was haunted with nightmares in my sleep Please daddy, do not get mad It was not your fault that I was so sad Please big sister, do not scream I tried to live but could no longer dream Please teacher, do not feel blame If you had tried the results would be the same Please best friend, do not miss me On this earth I just was not meant to be Please boyfriend, do not go insane There was nothing you in could do to ease my pain Please grandpa, do not live in regret Things happened to me that I couldn’t forget Please grandma, do not shed tears I have not felt happiness for many years Please uncle, do not ask why I am sorry that I never got to tell you goodbye Please auntie, do not grieve I made the decision myself, I wanted to leave Please cousin, do not follow me to the grave In the end to my depression I was a slave I am sorr...

So tired & stress nowadayz. my skool hourz is sooo long and by da time i reach home is aready nitE. but i'm excited about tis sunday! Manchester United is playinG! on da 25/7, 28/7 & got somemore! wow...but itz skool dayz..i'll be busy + tired..and again... PortugaL is playinG!! so happY!! but Ronaldo gonna miss da 1st four matches of Man U games. as he gotta pay for portugaL. 'Country comes 1st'. it'll be startin 1 Aug!! so excited!! i'm really lookin forward to it mAn! But my mUmMy is leaving S'pore for Bangkok for 4 dayz. from 25/7 to 28/7. me gonna miss her so much & she gonna miss da 2 Man U gamEz. i gotta watch alone...so sad...but itz soooo great tt i can c PortugaL pLay aGain!! ManchEster UnitEd tOo!! so hAppY!! ok yOz..me gTg..in cLass now..haVin lessOnz but i'm nOt listEning.. nOtti m3..keke..ok c yA!

yOz. raidah. hm. ur so welcome. hope u like da blog. hm. lolx. hope i'll meet ronaldo 1 daY?? i tink itz impossible. haiz. can only DREAM. anyway. c ya in skool!

hAiz. s|nce 5th juLy..i'vE been so sad. soo pain. so heartbroken. whY? becOz' of dA eUro 2004 finaL. portugal losT. i'M aReadY beRi sAd. dA 'pa|n tHiNg' iS...wEn i sAw c.RoNaLdo cRiEd...>_

Love is a word expressing feeling But now day's people use it as if it had no meaning This is sad I'll tell you why Now this word makes people cry It used to bring us tears of joy But now it's just a hurting toy People say it then take it back With no promise, just like that People say it to get what they want And then they say, "I love you not." I wish this word could mean what it means to me Or maybe this is how it's just going to be And the true meaning of this word inside my head is now and forever truly dead!

Why can't I find it? Where can it be? Why is it hiding hiding from me? Where did I leave it? Where did I throw it away? Why can't I find it? Where can it be? Why does love hide? Hide from me...

haiz...holiday..kinda bored here..but luckily therez EuRo 2004 havin on now...so great man..everyday slept at abt 4.30am.. if got extra-time + penalty-kicks i gotta sleep at abt 5.30am. Da feelin is so good man wen i feel so tired..go into my room..den SLEEP!! lolz...den i gotta wake up at abt 2-3pm..keke...wat a sleepin rabbit..^-^ but me sooo happi coz portugal is into da semi-final!! gotta support dem wit all my 'energy' against the netherlands...protugal! portugal! portugal gotta win!! gO Go gO!! yEa man..keke...after Euro 2004..comin up next is 'Copa America Cup'!! startin 6th July..26 LIVE matches!! so exciting man... gotta catch dem! but by da time, skool reopens le...dun hav much time to watch..haiz...anyway...my jap aunt comin bac tis fri! gotta be great & hav so much fun! ok gtg le yo..tAtA..

The pain I feel Can not be forgotten So great and so deep A love that went rotten I hurt so much I want to die There's no life in me It's all said good-bye My heart literally aches It feels as if it has burst Each piece showing a sad story Of a lonely girl full of hurt I don't know what to do I don't know where to turn I just know one thing... The hurt inside really burns I need help But where do i go I am dead inside The hurt is all that ever shows...

LiViNg a LiFe tHaT i cAnT LeAvE BeHiNd... bUt i cAnT tAkE iT aNyMoRe... i'M gOiN cRaZy eAcH dAy... bUt tHaTz dA wAy tHaT iT gOeS... & nObOdY kNoWz... EvErYdAy, mY dEaTh iS dRaWiNg nEaReR... i'M oN mY wAy... tO dA tRiP tO tHe hEaVeN... GoD, pLz tAkE mE fAr aWaY... tO dA FuTuRe wE wiLL gO... wHeRe iT LeAdz, nO oNe kNoWz... sO mUm, DaD, dEaR fReNz... dUn m|z mE...

mY pAsT t|mEz R fuLL oF sAdnEsS...MoSt oF dA t|m3 iS LoVe pRobLemz...LaSt t|m3 eVeRyDaY i wiLL gEt sAd oVeR t|z gUy...tT gUy...aNd oSo...gOt hUrT dEePLy bY mAnY PeEpz..tHeY bRoKe mY hEaRt..tOrE iT aPaRt...i wAs s|cK & t|rEd oF aLL t|z tOoPiD tHiNgZ...sO FiNaLLy..i tEll mYseLf..iTz nOt wOrTh iT gEtTiN sAd oF aLL t|z tHiNgZ & mAkiN mY dAyZ bAd...i cAnT cOnTiNuE dOiN tT.. fAc|nG dA wOrLd w|tHoUt a sMiLe..sO i sToP cRy|n..w|pEd mY tEaRz wHiCh iS roLLiN dOwn mY cHeEkz..sTaNd uP sTrOnG oN mY fEeT..LoOk aHeAd..& sTeP iNtO mY 'nEw' liFe..i teLL mYseLf..tHeRe R mAnY th|ngZ ouT tHeRe wa|tiNg fOr mE tO dO & cOmpLeTe... fRoM dEn oN...mY hEaRt iS 'dEaD'...i gOt nO moRe 'fEeLiNgz'.. mAyBe i rEaLLy gOt huRt dEepLy..& i dUn wAn tT tO hApPen aGa|n cOz i wUn bE abLe tO tAkE iT...sO...i jUz lEaVe dA loVe mAtTeRz tO GoD & fAtE...jUz LeT tHeM dEc|dE! iF sMtH bEloNgz tO mE..iT wiLL cOmE tO mE..iF iT dOeS nOt beLonGz tO mE..iTz uSeLeSs f|nDiN iT..

rEcaLLiNg...tHeRez sOmEtHiNg hApPeNeD LaSt t|me tT i wiLL nEvA fOrGeT.....hM..tHiNk iTz.....JaN 2003..bcOz oF loVe pRobLeMz..i rAn aWaY fRoM hOmE...>_

cAn sOmEoNe PLEAZE TeLL mE y...wHy...wHy dA oNez cOnFeSs|nG tO mE iS nOt soMeOnE eLsE..wHy...iTz aLwAyZ liKe tT...wHy dA oNez i LiKe wiLL gO aWaY LeAv|nG mE bEh|nD..& dA oNez wHo sTaY r nOt dA oNe i liKe...wHy?? iS LiFe aLwaYz liKe tt?? iF sO..hOw i w|sH i cAn jUz cLoZe mY eYeZ & wiLL nEvA wAkE uP...aNd mY tEaRz wiLL rOll dOwN dA s|dE oF mY fAcE eVeRyNiTez..uNtiL mY mR. RiTe cOmE tO mY s|dE & wAkEz mE uP...dEn wiLL i oPeN mY eYez tO c h|m r|tE iN fRoNt oF mE...sMiLiNg iNto mY eYeZ...hOw i w|sH..iTz liKe tT.. bUt nO... >_