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~hEavy minD~

last nite played ms. turned in at 4+am. but oni managed to slp at abt 6.35am. dunno y. havin a heavy mind ba. hm. woke up at abt 2pm todae.
haix. was hurt todae. no onez perfect. everybody did mistakez. did wrong. but important thing is to learn frm da mistakez. n not to repeat da same mistakez. i realli dunno. tt over juz a small matter. im oredi in da wrong in da pplz eyez. i realli dunno. i've oredi apologised sincerely but he cant forgive n forget. some r juz small mistakez. for overlookin n assumin. i did realised my wrong. but y does 'sorrie' doesnt help? i thot da 'bad timez' was over. n tt we gettin on beta. but im so wrong. in his heart, he hasnt put tt 'mistakez i made' behind. in life many ppl do wrong. juz tt if they realised n admitted wrong. i'll forgive them. givin them a chance to be gd agiain n not repeating it. but y he dun wanna give me a chance. to be bac again. like how we used to be. todae he hurt me. he said thingz abt me. tt i cant believe. y is he holdin such grudgez. haix. i regret. i shldnt hav done so much thingz. but i cant turn back time. i find tt recently as dayz passed, i've done [wat he tink is] wrong n i dun even know. im afraid if i continue to be wit them, i'll be doin more wrongz [n i wun even know]. n once i've done wrong in his eyez, he wun forget. forgive. n will hold grudgez. now tt i realised he can neva erased off my wrongz. im no longer how i used to be de 'jie jie' in his eyez n heart. we r so diff. he may hav done mistakez a timez but i alwaez tell myself tt no matter wat he is still my dearest 'xiao di'. haix. i dunno wat to do. am i tt 'evil' like how he said my wrongz. i cant believe. no use cryin now. i dunno how to face him next time. i wun be able to control my tearx. haix. hez rite. life juz sux.

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